It has been a long road

Taking apart my parents home has been overwhelming to say the least. All the issues with sharing items  between the three of us has been huge. After the sharing part was done then there is the selling of the items that had value or no one wanted.

The decision making process is fraught with “This was my mothers when she was a baby” or”This was mine I remember that” or “Oh this is so beautiful I love it”. If I could do the Kon Mari method of purging I would have only what I love. but alas, I am not Japanese and my ability to be disciplined is limited.

The memories are important to me. One of the last things my father said to me, as he looked over my shoulder at family pictures, “We were a happy family once”. I said “Yes dad we were very happy”. Those items and photos that let us know that we have a heritage that we had happier times are important to keep. They have meaning and relevance to who we have been , and who we are as a member of this group, called a family.

If I have words of advise, it is to stay at the sorting for as long as you can, 3-4 hours a day seemed to be about right. Then once you have done this multiple days , take a break.Come back to it with fresh eyes. You are dismantling your families life piece by piece. There is no easy way, just be gentle. My final, this helped me tip, my mantra has been “You get what you get and don’t throw a fit” This was taught to me and my son by his kindergarten teacher. Wise words to live by!

With love and peace,

All of us on Beech Hill

 

 

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Changes

Life is about change. I do not like change. That does not mean that it is not going to happen. Change happens, when I suspect it the least.

Recently our dog Bailey was killed. Before that tragedy was my parents dying 12 days apart in the Fall. These are huge changes in our family structure. How do we deal with such giant gaps in our family unit?

I know for myself, the detester of change, this has been a tremendous adjustment. No more Bailey and his darling little tail, great positive attitude and being an athlete.

My parents, the things I miss about them is endless. My dad’s positive attitude, caring ways and humor. My mom, I miss her bright spark and her intelligence. Now there is no  person to ask those family history questions.

I feel as if I have been pruned heavily, I am in the process of recovering from the severe pruning. Hopefully the new growth will be stronger and with bright beautiful blooms.